Sexual Performance - The Pressure's On
Okay, I will probably lose my American Male membership card after sharing the clubs most treasured secret, but here it goes. Come a little closer. I dont want them to hear me. Closer. Men are afraid. We are afraid that when the time comes. When we have finally shown you that we are truly an o.k. guy. After we have passed every test you put before us, we will fail the final exam. The test we have deemed as the final assessment of our manhood. The deal maker or the deal breaker. We know if we do not get a good grade there may not be a make up exam.
If we score poorly you might expel us and announcement to the world our failure. This fear is so overwhelming for some men that it causes anxiety. What gets some of us so worked up? What puts our boxers in a bunch? Poor sexual performance. Okay, there I said it. The need to satisfy his woman sexually is so strong in a man that some men become physically affected by the mere thought of failing. Performance anxiety affects men of all cultures, of all ages, of all races. Poor sexual performance may just be a temporary psychological condition that can be overcome by your understanding, patience and tenderness. Or it can be a physical condition which may require the help of a professional (which will be aided by your understanding, patience and tenderness). Performance anxiety is simply the fear of poor sexual performance.
Movies, media and entertainment have all played a role in perpetuating this condition. Singers promising to make love to you ALL NIGHT LONG. Movies showing lovers so encapsulated in ecstasy that they move in a rhythmic motion so fluent and flawless it draws in the imagination of every viewer, who instantly believes she is she and he is he. These have contributed to the unrealistic demand men have placed on themselves to bring their partner to a state of mind blowing blissfulness on every encounter. The irony of performance anxiety is that the anxiety caused by the fear of poor sexual performance often causes poor sexual performance. At the beginning of a relationship your man may become so preoccupied with pleasing you and making the moment unforgettable, he becomes unable to relax and let nature do its thing.
This can cause his equipment to fail. If equipment failure occurs, the anxiety intensifies. The increased anxiety to perform causes him to become preoccupied not only with pleasing you, but his prior poor performance. Thus causing equipment failure to re-occur. Rather than being a participant in the moment and creating with you your own rhythmic motions to be envied, he becomes a spectator, creating a vicious cycle of repeat performance failures. He begins to spiral deeper and deeper into the abyss of self doubt and low self-esteem.
Being one of the greatest inhibitors to sexual function, low self-esteem causes him to avoid sex with you altogether. You begin to feel hes rejecting you, when actually hes trying to save face and hide his feelings of guilt and inadequacy. Our fantasies merged with the images of Hollywood have caused men and women to put unrealistic expectation on themselves, their partners and their relationships. An unforgettable night of passion is a recurring event in a committed and love filled relationship. But so are nights of dissatisfaction (its just a reality of life). However, open communication and patience will go a long way in bringing many years of mind blowing blissfulness.
